Today: June 25, 2024 5:11 am
Today: June 25, 2024 5:11 am

How to deal with a breakup 💔 – understanding it correctly

This is the first blog of the course – Where you will understand what’s happening with you and only when you know the deeper aspects of the problem at hand. You can do something about them. 

The course aims at heading the broken heart. 

The first thing is to understand if there is a heart then only it can be broken so if you are having a broken heart it means you have a heart and now the other fact is that those who have a heart are genuine people and those who don’t have a hearing can be called heartless isn’t it. Heartless is not a bad word heartless means they are unable to feel the way you feel so first of all be happy and feel lucky that you are a genuine person because you have a heart and you feel being human is all about feeling. 

Of course, It’s true that your heart is broken and you feel the pain because of this broken heart.
The next step is to understand that the being exists because of the broken heart. 
If you understand the true reason behind the pain then you will be able to do the  needful 
So Let’s start 

First fact –

You feel the pain not because someone is leaving you but because you have invested in your relationship from your genuine self.

– It is not about others leaving or cheating you but you feel the pain because you did your best from your end. This fact also proves that you were and mean you feel the pain because you invested your emotions, your time in the relationship. If you want to get rid of this pain you need to know what a very important fact that the pain is not because this person is leaving or cheating you but your mind makes you feel that you have lost all this investment in the relationships. This is normal because you are a genuine person, you would have invested in the same manner even if it was a relationship with anyone else, isn’t it. So the truth is the reason behind your being is your investment loss and not this person. 
Don’t you say that how can this person leave me when I have invested so much or  why did the person leave me I have put so much in the relationships, you have put whole things for this person and expecting the same from the other side, 
You have shown to another person who you really are at the core and naturally now when you have a heartbreak you feel so vulnerable that person sees and judges your true self. No one wants to be judged so whether mistakes are made or things just did not work out. it hurts to say goodbye to a relationship in which you had invested with your true self. 
Your mind is stuck up about the investment and not the person that has gone. This realization is going to be very useful. 

Let’s understand the second fact is 

You feel the pain not because someone is leaving you but because you go into self-blame and self-doubt.

– At the moment your mind is fiddling blame on self This is happening because either you have given such a position to this person whenever he or she has set to you about you it impacts you. It’s true that during tough situations people end up illogically. Ask yourself whether the blame that this person has on you actually true or not on behalf of reality. Ask yourself whether your actions happened or because of you. or Are there other reasons behind it as well. But there is no reason the side of another person, nothing happens in isolation so at the moment you feel the pain because you have wrongly internalized that all that happened, Happened only because of you, you feel bad that you will behave badly when actually you are not bad this is happening because of self-rejection, It is not you being bad but the mind which rejects you. So acknowledge this realization that the pain is there not because this person has gone or the relationship has broken but your mind holds you singularly responsible…
Whatever capacity you had you put truly whatever you could understand for the things and relationships you were doing great from your end so there is nothing wrong this is about you are a good and genuine person. 
We will discuss this topic about responsibility in the relationships in the 6th chapter

Third fact:-

You feel the pain not because someone is leaving you but because this all has happened suddenly without you expecting it.

– You question yourself you could not know about it earlier when you started the relationship you thought there will be no such things as separation, you are so used to the predictable relationship of happy things like love affection and happiness that you never imagined the negative side of it like arguments blame rejection. so it’s not about the relationship or this person leaving you but it’s about the unexpectedness and unpredictability of the event that has happened to us and now the truth is that nothing is sudden. there are reasons that keep on building the consequences that you have experienced today.

Fourth fact:-

You feel the pain because someone is leaving you but because you had made this person the only reason for your existence. 

– You are so obsessed with the thought that your whole life was about this person only you ended up becoming dependent on this person so much that when that person is not there for you it feels like part of you is missing, sure if you see carefully this person became a habit for you and this was the fucking game of the mind you got blinded by the love you got so cought with the thought about this person that you do not want to imagine life without him or her because you open up your heart your soul your life to this person he or she became your life your world, you spend all these priold and getting attached to and caring to this person, so you are in pain now not because of this person but the sudden loss of the occupation off your mind, your mind had developed this fantasy world that if this person was there you felt safe and secure, so isn’t this an illusion created by the mind, your mind had made this person your only habit and now you are clueless what you will do. you are hurt because you made your life all around this person so much that you ignored all other purposes of your life and now you can see this a life partner is supposed to be a team to support you in fulfilling the purposes instead of becoming a part of your life, so once again it is not about the person or relationship but about the loss of the occupation in the mind 

The fifth fact –

You feel the pain not because someone is leaving you but because your future plan is broken

You thought you will be trusting and loving only this person your mind thinks it can be difficult to fill the space this person held in your life especially if the relationship seemed to be going so well, you may be feeling well that you would have not gone in for such a relationship had you known this earlier. the pain is not because this person is going but of your thoughts that life is so predictable for you and now many times unpredictably changed. you are in pain so it is not about this person but the changed about the plan.

Sixth fact:-

You feel the pain not because someone is leaving you but because you think that this person is the only one person for you and nobody else can be as good 

– It hurts not because the person has gone or cheated but because your mind thinks that he or she was the closest to you and shared everything with him or her. You told yourself that this person could possibly be someone i can spend the rest of my life with. also your mind thinks you will not get anybody better it is not about the person but your mind and that is this person is only one and only best, do you know your life existed perfectly without this person a few years ago when you never even knew that this person existed in this world. 
There are more 

Seven fact:-

You feel the pain not because someone is leaving you but because there are memories of the past it is not knowing this person has gone 

– You knew before that there was an issue going on in the relationship and only now when it is broken and it hurts and much more because of your mind which is constantly thinking about the good past that you have experienced, it is as similar as when you visit the dentist and he pulls out teeth or two even after a month your tongue runs over it continuously because at the subconscious level your mind misses it being there, this is an involuntary action of the mind. Similarly even when at the logical level you know that this relationship was not that strong, the mind misses him or her and it has been for you. This feeling is normal and happens to all, now you can conclude you can say that it is about the negative parts that are around these factors and not the actual incident of this person is going or cheating all this is a game played by the mind. The mind is in the habit of self-pity self-defeat self-negation and self-blame. This is because the mind not in your control and involuntarily, This is a natural tendency of the mind everybody’s mind behaves in this way only. Either you learn to get the mind in control or the mind will always have control over your emotions, feeling pain is normal and happens to everyone in a situation of loss like this but after feeling the pain sometimes you need to take charge of your mind and your thought otherwise your mind is capable of making things worse for you now when you have understood that is about thought patterns of your mind not about the incident that does happen. you need to take on voluntary action to change that involuntary functioning of the mind. This is definitely possible if you have understood the actual reason behind the pain correctly then you are ready to learn how to come out of the pain in the next part of this article …

Next part of this article – Healing the broken heart (Coming soon)

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Educational plan suggestion to manage your stress, anxiety, worry, and/or a relationship issue - After going through many relationships and spending years to find himself in a better position. I am trying to show you the way from where the world will look beautiful! No matter how bad the situation is, no matter how deep the problem, treatment of all is possible. Thanks for joining us.


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